IT IS
EXPECTED THAT THE
PRICE OF GUMMY BEARS WILL INCREASE IN THE END OF Q4 BASED ON
THE COLLECTIVE
CONSUMPTION OF THEM (6 LBS OVER 4 DAYS AND 4 CREW = 0.375 LBS
GUMMY BEARS PER
PERSON PER DAY. AS
SUCH, WE ARE OUT OF
THESE DELECTABLE NIGHT WATCH-FRIENDLY COMPANIONS, AND IT IS
REQUESTED THAT A
DRONE DELIVER AN ADDITIONAL 12 LBS OF GUMMY BEARS, MARINE
GRADE OBVIOUSLY, FROM
COLORADO PREFERABLY, TO THE <DIRECTION> CORNER OF
SECTION X-X IN THE
ATLANTIC ON FRIDAY, NOVEMBER X TO ENABLE MORE EFFECTIVE NIGHT
WATCHES, THE
AFOREMENTIONED ISSUE REPRESENTING THE ONLY TRUE PROBLEM THAT
CANNOT CURRENTLY
BE SOLVED BY DUCT TAPE AND PRAYER TO POSEIDON. IF WE CAN LAND MAN ON THE
MOON, AND A
GAMESHOW HOST IN THE “HUUUUGE” OVAL OFFICE, SURELY THIS
TRIVIAL REQUEST CAN BE
FULFILLED.
SEVERAL FISH HAVE BEEN
TAKEN IN, PREPARED, AND
CONSUMED, AMONG THEM A BLUE FIN TUNA, A MODEST PLETHORA OF
MAHI, AND AN EVIL
SPIRITED WAHOO NAMED EL GUAPO WHOSE EXPRESSION GAVE THE
IMPRESSION “IF YOU EAT
ME, YOU WILL DIE LIKE DOGS.” WE
AQUIECED
LIKE CAUTIOUS AMIGOS NOT WILLING TO INVOKE ILL WILL TOWARD AN
OTHERWISE HEALTHY
VESSEL. ONE OF THE
MAHIS WAS SPARED ITS
LIFE ON ACCOUNT OF ITS SMALL LENGTH, AKIN TO THE WIDTH OF TWO
ADULT HANDS, OR
THE WIDTH OF FOUR TRUMP HANDS.
ONE BATTLE
OF PARTICULAR
NOTE OCCURRED ON 11-9-2016, WHEREBYE A WILEY MAHI THREATENED
TO PULL THE SHIP
BACKWARDS AGAINST A 20 KNOT FOLLOWING WIND.
AFTER CONVINCING THE HELMSMAN TO DE-POWER, THE GREAT
BEAST WAS HAULED UP
TO THE GUNWALE, WHEREBY AN ANNONYMOUS CREW MEMBER, WITH A
HYBRID STABBING AND
9-IRON-LIKE MOTION, ATTEMPTED TO HOOK THE HUNTED WITH A GAFF. AT THAT MOMENT, THE GREAT
BEAST, WITH RENEWED
CONFIDENCE FOR SURVIVAL, SMELLED THE SOPHOMORIC FISHERMEN WITH
WHOMB HE WAS FIGHTING,
AND WITH VAN DAMM - LIKE FLEXIBILITY AND SPEED MANAGED TO FREE
HIMSELF FROM OUR
GRASP WHILE WEARING ASTONISHINGLY TIGHT JEANS THAT WERE FITTED
WAY TO HIGH
ABOVE THE WAIST. TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY,
THE ESCAPEE WAS
ESTIMATED TO BE 86” +\- 50”.
UNFORTUNATELY, NO OBJECTIVE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CLAIM HAS
BEEN RECORDED.
QUIZZO FOR
THE NON-SAILOR:
THE RUM
LINE IS,
A: THE
CAPTAIN’S TERM FOR
A SHODDY LINE DRAWN BY A CREW MEMBER ON A CHART WITHOUT USING
A STRAIGHT EDGE.
B: A
STRAIGHT LINE THAT
CONNECTS THE START AND FINISH POINTS OF A RACE.
C: THE
QUEUE THAT FORMS AT
THE DUTY FREE STAND AT CHARLOTTE AMALIE AIRPORT SEVERAL DAYS
AFTER THE FALL
RALLY.
D: ALL OF
THE ABOVE.
E: NONE OF
THE ABOVE.
QUOTE OF
THE DAY:
AFTER
OBSERVING A CRATE OF
TOMOTOES SLIDE VICIOUSLY TO AND FRO ON ACCOUNT OF A SEEMINGLY
INFINITE BROAD
REACH IN CHOPPY SEAS, A CREW MEMBER WAS HEARD TO SAY, “F@#$
THESE
TOMATOES. I HATE THESE
F*****G TOMATOES!”
JOKE OF THE
DAY:
“WHY DO
THEY ONLY PUT 239
BEANS IN A CAN OF BAKED BEANS?
ADDING
ONE MORE WOULD MAKE THEM TOO FARTY.
THE SAILING
HAS ALSO BEEN
WICKED FUN.