Hello! Tin
Tin the Bear here again. I thought on this blog I’d introduce you to my
shipmates, the four ‘Xplorers’ which I’m forced to share my boat with on this
voyage across the Atlantic. You can tell a lot about people by what they read.
First up we
have Peter ‘have you seen my glasses’ Bamford. Despite bringing at least five
pairs of reading glasses on the boat he can never find them. Peter likes to
think he is in charge of this ship….little does he know that Val is sending messages
via a remote sewn in my paws which directly controls the autopilot. Peter lives
in the Bamford Suite, a luxurious cabin in the front of the boat which he
shares with the emergency food, rotting vegetables, kitchen roll and the spare
saloon carpet, which is on board just in case Moneypenny Warren goes drinking again.
Peter is a caffeine addict insomniac who prowls the boat at night by the light
of his headtorch, temporarily blinding anyone who is on watch. Currently
reading a book about serial killers, but he is still my favourite.
Tony ‘Biscuits’
Brown is a salty old seadog with a hidden stash of biscuits. He lives in the
biscuit tin in complete squalor surrounded by crumbs, and has an appetite even
bigger than the boss. On the odd occasion he is not eating you can be sure he
is planning what to eat next or snuffling around looking for food. Something of
a whizz in the kitchen and is Chief Chef. Even Tom could not ruin his Pork and
Cider. Keeps playing with his antique
sextant whenever the sun comes out, but claims he needs to read the book on how
it works as he hasn’t used it for ten years. Tony is a real sailor and talks
about ‘thermal activity’ and ‘precipitation’ rather than clouds and rain. Currently
reading a book longer than War and Peace which looks very grown up. It has very
small letters.
Tom ‘Farmer’
Brown. Lives in the tidiest cabin in the boat surrounded by a not very well
hidden stash of San Miguel. Tom got blamed (unfairly some may say) for breaking
half the crew on a night out in Las Palmas. Or perhaps it was planned – Anna has
not drunk since then so everyone else’s beer ration has been increased. Tom is Chief
Engineer, which mainly consists of fixing things Peter has broken. He is
currently reading a book with the charming title ‘Don’t tell Mum I work on the Rigs', she thinks I’m a piano player in a whore house’. It is 10 pages long and has very big letters and pictures. However, it is more intellectually demanding than the colouring book he has brought for next week.
Anna ‘Moneypenny’
Warren. Annoyingly still holds the record for boatspeed aboard Xplorer. This
bear is convinced she is a spy. She knows where every single piece of kit on
the boat lives (except for the Dymo) and about all the hidden food stashes.
Cruelly rationed the chocolate and sweets into four separate bags with each
crew member’s name on. Usually found reclining in Moneypenny’s saloon,
pretending to be asleep but actually has one eye open at all times. Currently
reading a book about Brexit and the only one on board who can get past puzzle
number one in the GCHQ puzzle book. I don’t trust her one bit and I’m keeping
my (button) eyes on her every move.
Affectionately,
Tin Tin the ARC Bear