HUMMINGBIRD Blog - Sunday 12/6/2024
Bowel Health and
Toilet Paper Consumption!
Having had
sufficient time to contemplate our reasons to exist, we have turned our
attention to much more important matters; which toilet paper aboard is best, why
and correlation of usage rates to bowel health!
We have four
styles of TP aboard: weak, nearly
transparent single ply such as the type supplied by government institutions,
poor quality double ply, quilted double ply with dimples and a durable somewhat
abrasive double ply with daisy patterns printed upon
The government
paper is hard to tear cleanly off of the roll, hard to fold, when finally folded
has more holes than our Yankees 1& 2 and is very easily penetrated by the
middle digit when used leading to increased water usage when washing
up.
While the poor
quality double ply is clearly preferred to the government kit, is is still very
lacking in softness, absorption and comfort of use.
The dimpled
double ply is of very good quality something like Charmin, a high end brand
available in the Amerika.
The double ply
Daisy print is this writers favourite. The pretty flowers remind him of
springtime on land and off of this dreadful Sea. While slightly abrasive is
highly effective resulting in less sheets used per wipe and no digital
penetrations have been reported to date.
Higher than
usual bouts of constipation have been reported aboard. This decrease TP usage
thus protecting our stocks.
Various
treatments have been deployed by those affected with this dreadful condition:
senior treats (prunes), high doses of magnesium, and various over the counter
remedies. Those trying too many remedies at once have sustained - sport
Pooping!
Updates to come
later.