Sunday Sesh can reveal that two more Grendon Men are involved in the disappearance of Chris "Admiral Norfy" North from the Red Lion Scene. Sleepy Grendon was still abuzz with rumours about the whereabouts of Norfy as it emerged that local man Mr "Skipper" Steve Rodwell had gone awol* at about the same time as Norfy, and that another local man, Mr Bob Maisey, claimed to have seen both recently "somewhere in the Pacific Ocean".
At the Red Lion today it took until just 2 o'clock for the Regulars to satisfy themselves that neither Norfy North nor Skipper Steve were present as expected. Speculations centred around the mysterious Cleone. A lady, who refused to give a name other than Veronica, sniffed: "She's short, elderly and no light-weight". But "Mojo" Mike said he had seen her. "Cleone's beautiful; she's a tall, elegant, twenty-seven year old with perfect manners. It's true she doesn't say much and she likes the drink. But she can hold her wind and water, she's long-legged, and in the right conditions and the right hands she goes like the clappers. That Norfy's a lucky boogger.". Meanwhile, another Grendon resident, Mr Bob Maisey (not yet a Red Lion Regular) emerged with a claim to have seen both Norfy and Skipper Steve together in the last few weeks. "I don't want to say much about the Skipper," he said "he's got his own set-up with big Kasuje. And she's a right handful - fast, powerful, beautifully turned out and a real looker. But heavy on the wallet. As to Cleone; she's got Norfy in hand. He's OK, he's lean, fit and tanned and he loves Cleone a lot". When pressed, Bob admitted that he'd been part of a separate group - the Quarks of Quasar. "I had a wonderful time. Like most of "the fleet", Quasar is also big, elegant, fast and beautiful - I couldn't get enough of her. They were a lovely lot, but she was dry. I had to leave" he said, refusing to be drawn further. But it was Veronica who had the last word. "Norfy's done this before" she said. "Two years ago he went off to the Caribbean with military socialite "Brookie" Brooke. 'It's Never Look Back this time' Norfy'd said as he packed his bags. But he did. He was back within a couple of months." And Philip North, the Admiral's youngest son, went on: "Yes Dad left with a smile on his face, but you mark my words. Him and that Skipper Steve will both be back at some stage. They can't resist the Lure of the Lion". The Regulars then ordered up a further two rounds, one on the Skipper's slate and one on Norfy's and soon became incapable of adding anything more.
Meanwhile, the Northamptonshire Police are still refusing to become involved. Their Spokesperson said bizarrely "We've no comment but we don't approve. We understand both men are in the habit of not attending the Red Lion and not buying their round, though we note that they are still getting 'slated'. That Mr Maizey needs to sort it all out". But Bob was unavailable to add anything further.
To more serious matters: on board Cleone all is going well. The Skipper (who must always have something to worry about) is concerned that the other two "old" batteries are also on the way out, but has not yet carried out detailed investigations. And where on earth do you get new batteries this side of Australia? The wind still hovers around ESE to SE, and has varied between 12 and 20 knots in strength. Nevertheless, we've kept Cleone powered up, and though we have not quite managed yesterday's record, we have added another 173 miles (only one short of yesterday's record) to the total, and all in the right direction. But as soon as things start going right in one area, other challenges emerge. The fresh food has all but been used up, and we will have to start digging into Cleone's huge reserves of tinned and dried food. This will be a particularly challenging time for Norfy; he's the only one of us who knows what is stored where. This is a real burden - although Cleone is quite small, she has an amazing number of lockers and other hiding places, from which occasional surprises emerge. As a wonderful example, only yesterday, Norfy emerged triumphantly from his fore-cabin bearing a whole tray of beers! These, although bought in Panama, had remained hidden for some weeks, and had stayed so hidden throughout a trying time when we all knew that there was going to be a shortage of beer. We do occasionally get good surprises.
Now we are in the trades, the atmosphere has changed markedly. No longer is it hot and unbearably humid. Elizabeth has been wearing a jacket on night watch, and during the day it is hot but pleasantly fresh. We are having a wonderful time. It was only marred by a flying squid, which swept in through the hatch and landed beside my head on my pillow! Elizabeth, on watch, did not appreciate it being passed to her for disposal over the side. Squeamish or what??
Best wishes to all, and thank you all for your support, and for reading this!
James, Chris & Elizabeth
Yacht Cleone
At sea
06.49S 104.30W
(*awol = absent without leave)